My morning so far

      Today I am feeling incredibly grateful.  For my wonderful little family.  For all that I have. I guess I'm having one of those days where everything hits you, in a good way.  I read Stephanie Nielson's book," Heaven Is Here", a few months ago, and I can honestly say that it has had a permanent impact on me.  A rejuvenating I-want-to-be-the-best-mother-wife-daughter-friend-sister-ect. impact on me.  The part that spoke to me the most was her view of and ways of mothering.  If she offered a class, I would take it.  The book is just as good as a class though, really.  I think of it almost daily.  It's definitely a read that makes you feel thankful for your life, not just because of what the author has had to go through and is continuing to go through, but because she is such a great example of being thankful herself.
       On a different but somewhat the same note, Rowan is wonderful as always.  Not every moment is wonderful of course, this is real life, but he is wonderful despite the hard moments.  He is having his morning nap and I still can't believe how much I miss him when he is sleeping.  Spencer and I were laughing about that last night.  How  he gets super fussy right before it's time to put him down and when he falls asleep we're so relieved, but then an hour later we can't stop talking about how cute he is and all the little things he does, and how we miss him!  
       My baby is HUGE!  Whyyyyyyy?  Why is it going by so fast!?  Whenever the thought crosses my mind that he won't always have those chunky-squeezy thighs and kissable cheeks, fingers that hold onto me so tight, huge open-mouthed smiles that brighten the whole room just for me, well..I can't handle it!!!!  It's like he is too good to be true, only he is true!  Six months ago I loved this baby boy of mine, so much, but not nearly as much as I do today.  Is that okay to say?  It's true though.  We had a wonderful start, then it got pretty rough  there for awhile.  I feel bad that everyone around me could see it.  Ah. A bit of a rough recovery for me & collicky months for my sweet baby...not very fun. I will do much better next time.   I'm so glad to know now that the dark days do end.  They do, and when they do, it's all so worth it!!!  That large family I've always wanted?  Yeah, still gonna happen.

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